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Posts Tagged ‘Helping spirits’

Just a reminder that we don’t need to accept being bullied, whether in our personal or professional life. Sometimes we need to take care of ourselves in different ways depending on the situation, but remember – you are loved, you are worthy of respect, and you don’t need to diagnose or treat a mentally unstable or unwell person unless you are qualified to do so. You don’t need to cover or make excuses for someone who is treating you badly. Again, remember, you are worth being treated well. Love yourself.

Lynda Skeen's Shamanic Musings

Emotional bullies show up in all walks of life, and can be psychologically immature or very sophisticated.  Whether you’re a shamanic practitioner, a bus driver, a school teacher, doctor, office worker, or waitress, it’s important to maintain healthy boundaries while you’re working with other people.  It’s not only ok to have healthy boundaries, but it’s crucial if you want to maintain your own health and sanity, which you’ll need if you want to be able to continue to be of service. 

A tree without healthy boundaries can’t be a tree.

“You can’t reason with unreasonableness,” a dear friend once told me.  If you’ve considered another viewpoint and still come back to your own as true for you, some will call you stubborn and close minded.  But it’s not stubbornness to have a point of view.  And it’s not stubbornness to walk away from anyone in your life, including clients, who…

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We want to help.

We want to watch the news and participate in world events, to assist in whatever way we can to ease suffering and right wrongs.

But it can get to us after awhile.

We need to make sure we are tending to our own needs as well as those of others.  If our vibration has become heavy, depressed, and toxic, we’re not going to be able to help anyone else, and might even cause more harm to them or ourselves.  Like the now-cliché instruction on planes, we need to put on your own oxygen masks before attempting to assist others.

It’s ok to take a break from watching the news, to reduce your exposure to things that are stressing us out that you have no control over, to block people from our Facebook newsfeeds who are ambushing us with negativity.

Beyond taking a break from stressors and removing things that no longer serve us, it’s important to bring in more of what nurtures and sustains us, to create a healing environment around ourselves that we can entrain ourselves to.  Of course it’s best to take care of ourselves along the way, but we should also have an “emergency self-care kit” for difficult times.

Take some time to meditate, pray, or journey to your helping spirits about ways that you can simplify your life of toxicity and bring in higher vibrations.  Consider the physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional aspects of your life, and engage all of your senses.

I recently journeyed on this for myself, asking my helping spirits for help with detoxing and clarity about what to bring in to my life.

Before I even journeyed, I was reminded about the importance of gratitude.  I spent a few minutes writing a gratitude list, planning to write 50 things I was thankful for.  By the time I got to 25, my heart was soaring, and I was ready to journey.

My helping spirits helped me to release some energies I was holding onto, and reminded me of some things I needed more of in my life:

  • time in nature
  • playing (and not just competitive on-line Scrabble games!)
  • certain colors, like a string of cobalt-blue glass beads to catch the light, or golden sunshine
  • particular fabrics, scents, and music
  • the element of water (a shower, a glass of water, a walk on the beach)
  • more journey time on my own behalf, not just for clients

I was also reminded that I’m not the first person to have a hard time dealing with the heaviness of this plane, and I won’t be the last.  Being reminded that I wasn’t alone helped in itself.

So what makes you clearer, energized, peaceful, more present, more loving?  Get out of the fray, collect yourself, and then you’ll be able to be of service.  I’d love to hear about what makes your heart sing!  Feel free to leave me a comment below, or to private email me.

Here are some photos I took when I spent some time playing out in the woods after my journey, which nurtured me on all levels.

IMG_2131 turtle in woods2 - face

© Lynda Skeen

IMG_2132 turtle in woods3 - eye

© Lynda Skeen

Image

© Lynda Skeen

© Lynda Skeen

© Lynda Skeen

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Emotional bullies show up in all walks of life, and can be psychologically immature or very sophisticated.  Whether you’re a shamanic practitioner, a bus driver, a school teacher, doctor, office worker, or waitress, it’s important to maintain healthy boundaries while you’re working with other people.  It’s not only ok to have healthy boundaries, but it’s crucial if you want to maintain your own health and sanity, which you’ll need if you want to be able to continue to be of service. 

A tree without healthy boundaries can’t be a tree.

“You can’t reason with unreasonableness,” a dear friend once told me.  If you’ve considered another viewpoint and still come back to your own as true for you, some will call you stubborn and close minded.  But it’s not stubbornness to have a point of view.  And it’s not stubbornness to walk away from anyone in your life, including clients, who belittle you for not agreeing with their point of view. 

Because I’m not talking about pretending to be infallible or never stepping outside our comfort zone, but about claiming our right to not engage in any relationship that’s not mutually respectful and heart-centered (unless for some reason you choose to).  And if you do find someone starting to bully you, you don’t have get down in the dirt with them.  You’re not better than them, but it doesn’t help anyone to engage them in that way.  It’s important to be aware if your reptilian brain is getting triggered, but you should deal with those issues later, at an appropriate time.

If someone does cross the line, do whatever you need to do to respect your boundaries and keep yourself safe.  End the session if you need to.  If you feel physically threatened, call for help.  Whatever you need to do.  Let them have the last word and get on with your life. 

Remember:

  • If someone says “I don’t mean to be rude but…” it’s ok to say, “Then don’t.”
  • You don’t have to accept “brutal honesty,” especially unasked for and especially from people with whom you don’t have a close relationship.  Even beloved friends and family can be honest with us in a loving way.
  • Just because someone wants something from you doesn’t mean you have to give it (also see http://wp.me/p1FkFN-1w, “Just because someone gives you something doesn’t mean you have to keep it.”)
  • Some people are like monkeys and just enjoy throwing their crap around.  If you let them, they’ll throw their crap all over you and then claim it’s your own. 

 Some thoughts for shamanic practitioners:

  • It’s ok to not take on a client if your helping spirits don’t want to work with them or if, on a human level, you don’t feel it would be appropriate to work them.  Sometimes it’s appropriate to work with a bully or manipulator, sometimes not.  Use your common sense, intuition, and the guidance of your helping spirits and the counsel of trusted friends and teachers.
  • Don’t go into spaces you feel uncomfortable in, or practice techniques you don’t feel comfortable practicing. If you don’t make house calls, don’t be bullied into making house calls.
  • Even if you have a sliding pay scale, keep the process respectful.  Don’t haggle over rates. 
  • Don’t let clients or any of the other entities you’re dealing with get abusive, even if anger is one of the issues being dealt with.  You don’t need to be a doormat just because you are there to help. 
  • Be power-filled (with your True Self and Helping Spirits) before beginning to work with clients, including via email or on the phone.  Keep as clear as possible during the session, and afterwards, do whatever personal clean-up work you need to do – de-cording, extraction, etc.
  • Even if someone is unhappy with your work, you have the right to be treated with respect.  Hear their grievance, give them their money back if you like, but you (and your Helping Spirits) have a right to be treated well, as you treat your clients well. 
  • Honor your clients, yourself, your helping spirits, and your process – all of the above.

And I’ll close with a version of Dr. Kent Keith’s “Paradoxical Commandments” (http://www.paradoxicalcommandments.com/mother-teresa-connection.html) that I love. 

I wish you many blessings on your day.

ANYWAY 
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true friends;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world your best anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

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Some of our worst suffering can come when we feel like we’re alone in the universe, or, even worse, when we feel the universe is malevolent.  To heal the wound of isolation, it is important to develop relationships – not just with other humans, but with the other beings we share the universe with.

Much of my personal healing really took off when I woke up to the universe as full of other beings such as Trees, Water, Earth, Air, Fire, the Directions, my Power Animals and other Helping Spirits.  Although I’d meditated and prayed for as long as I could remember, learning to journey was eye opening for me.  I could finally consciously communicate with the energies I’d been feeling around me all my life.

One way I like to connect with them on a regular basis, in addition to journeying, is by acknowledging their energies in my version of the medicine wheel.  I am a spiritual mutt, and don’t belong to any one lineage.  Luckily, the directions and elements don’t belong to any one lineage either.

So here’s something you might try.  Stand quietly with your eyes closed and take a few deep breaths.  Start by facing and acknowledging the spirit of the East, then moving to the South, West, and North and greeting them as well.  Say hello to the Elements – Air, Fire, Water, Earth, and Ether.  Breathe deeply and say hello from your heart, acknowledging their presence.  You can do this any time, but a good time to do it is first thing in the morning, before your day gets going.  Feel how you are a part of All That Is, how you are not separate from the rest of creation.  Feel the love and peace in your heart that come from knowing that you are not alone, and that come from these compassionate beings themselves.

I recently returned from a wonderful week-long workshop taught in rural Wisconsin by Betsy Bergstrom, and am having a bit of difficulty returning to my “real life.”  The sadness I am feeling at not being able to run around in the woods every day (I live and work in Los Angeles), or of sitting in circle with other practitioners and teachers, is reminding me of another kind of suffering – the kind of suffering that comes from knowing you’re not alone, but being homesick for deeply connecting at a raised vibration with other people and compassionate spirits.  My helping spirits are reminding me that although as humans we will feel loss and other uncomfortable emotions from time to time, it can make all the difference to experience them while knowing we aren’t alone.

So plugging in energetically to All That Is, to the Directions and Elements, to our Helping Spirits and other allies, as well as our friends and family in physical form, is really important in terms of easing suffering.  Regularly and frequently.  Just knowing we are loved makes all the difference.

Many blessings on your journey through your day.

 ———————————————————————————————

Here are some photos I took while at the workshop in Wisconsin.  From the large to the small and everything in between, we are surrounded by beauty and love!

 

Feather, © Lynda Skeen

 

Rainbow, © Lynda Skeen

 

Tree bark, © Lynda Skeen

 

Boxelder bugs, © Lynda Skeen

 

Late Summer Wisconsin Field, © Lynda Skeen

 

Butterfly on wildflowers, © Lynda Skeen

 

Wisconsin Overlook, © Lynda Skeen

 

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I want to recommend Kelley Harrell’s Gift of the Dreamtime, a brave, compassionate, and wonderfully written book about Kelley’s experience of wrestling with childhood sexual abuse.  It takes place over the course of several years, and totally in dreamtime (also known as nonordinary reality or shamanic journeys).  She lets the reader in on her gritty process of working with her helping spirits to unravel her childhood wounding and to move forward in a positive way in her life.  She doesn’t sugarcoat the process, which is one of the gifts of her gutsiness in letting the reader in on her process.  She lets us see her learning process, lets us see her question her helping spirits, lets us see her pain and her healing.  It’s really beautiful, and is a great example of ways to work with your helping spirits.

 

Her journeys are very visual – not just visual, but engaging all the senses – which isn’t everyone’s experience of Dreamtime.  If you feel a bit of jealousy as you read Gift of the Dreamtime, please don’t let it deter you from continuing to read.  Everyone journeys in their own way; some people don’t “see” anything at all.

 

Kelley, I know I’ve already said this to you, but thank you so much for your gift of Gift of the Dreamtime!  I heartily recommend it.

 

Kelley Harrell, a writer and shamanic healer, lives in North Carolina and can be found in cycberspace at http://kelleyharrell.com.

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Once you have connected with your helping spirits, it’s important to honor them in your everyday, ordinary reality.  Here are some suggestions:

  • journey to them and ask them how they would like to be expressed in your life
  • put an image of them on your altar or some other place where you will see it on a regular basis
  • dance them a dance
  • paint them a painting
  • write them a poem or story
  • merge with them and go for a walk, letting them experience things through your eyes
  • journey (or meditate) to them regularly, asking for their help and expressing your gratitude for their relationship with you

Like any relationship, it will take time to get to know them – to understand their language, their vibration, their sense of humor.

The same holds true for soul parts that might have been retrieved for you – get to know what makes them happy as they become integrated back into your core soul.

Let your relationship with your helping spirits deepen day by day; let it infuse your ordinary reality.  Honor and thank them for their help, energy, insights, and surprises.  Enjoy the magic!

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I asked one of my helping spirits if he believed in God.

He opened his huge, beautiful, golden brown Owl wings and floated on a current of wind.

“That’s like asking if I believe in Air,” he said.

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